My New Journey ~ To Love. Chapter 2: Missouri

The wait is over… We met! Let’s just say Missouri did not disappoint.

*Warning: This chapter can get a little “explicit in details” so reader/listener has been advised:)

Read on or listen on ~ Whichever platform you have going and ENJOY the Journey!

The Flight

The day has come, I am actually surprised I slept last night. Got up this morning and ran to get a manicure/pedicure (something I do regularly ~ It just feels and looks good) then home to finish last minute picking up and packing then off to my friend Audrey’s so she could drive me to the airport. I have been texting Chelsey the whole time of course and surprisingly I am not really nervous now, but rather more excited. I am now sitting at the airport at the C Gate waiting to board my plane to Missouri. I cannot believe the 19 day countdown is now at day 0 and here I am looking at the sign that says Flight 472 to St. Louis will begin boarding at 5:24 and departing at 6:04. It’s really happening! In 3-1/2 hours I will touch down in Missouri (a place I have never been) with carry on bags in hand as I exit the plane and make my way to baggage claim and out the doors to meet Chelsey in person for the very first time! Oh my gosh I can’t believe I am actually going to be able to see her face to face, in person, hug her, and kiss her beautiful lips.

I will skip the boring details of the flight since I literally Snapchatted the entire flight with Chelsey in anticipation on both ends. The flight was great, but I am not going to lie, it felt like eternity to get there. All the sudden the pilot comes through the speakers and says that we will be preparing for landing and my stomach sinks! This is it, I am officially in Missouri where she lives. No turning back now (as if that was ever an option). I am here. I send her a Snap and tell her I am preparing to land. We are both so excited and she tells me where she is at the airport and I tell her I will call her as soon as I depart the plane and am in the terminal.

The Arrival

I swear it was the longest taxi of a plane to the gate ever, then the waiting to getting off the actual aircraft seemed eternal as well, with me yelling in my head… “C’MON People! Move IT!”. This was more than likely my impatience and excitement more than anything else, but still come on people let’s move it.. I have someone to meet!! Yes… It is all about me right now:)

I finally depart the plane and walk down the long corridor into the St. Louis airport! I honestly can barely contain myself.. I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial her number… She answers, “Hello..” (in the cutest southern voice I have loved from the first time we talked)… I excitedly, yet softly, scream “I am here”!! She says, “Where are you?’ … this dance goes on for a bit because she was actually on the upper level and I was on the lower. So.. She drove down to where I was and says, “Go outside”.. Which was quite funny because I went to walk out the sliding door and when it opened and I felt the AWFUL HOT AND HUMID air come in, I turned back and said, “Hell NO! It is HOT out there!” I can’t come out! She laughed and said, “Boo, you have to come out so I can see where you are!” I said, “I can’t it is so HOT babe, I will melt and sweat!” She insisted I come out (clearly I can’t stay in the airport forever) and so I muster all my courage and head back for the sliding door to Hell one more time… I pass through and am outside heading for stairs up to where she will pick me up. I instantly say, “Who the hell actually lives in this heat and humidity”? We both laugh. I am looking for her and she is looking for me. She says “give me something you are by”, so I tell her there is a chick in front of me that has a hot pink suitcase. All the sudden she says, “I am coming up to the stop sign, I see the pink suitcase, where are you”? I said, ” I am right behind her, do you see me”? She said, “No” and right then I see her car. I said, “I am right here”!!!! and I dodge around the pink suitcase to meet her at her car. I jump in with my luggage at my feet (yes I just crammed everything in with me in the front seat!) and I look at her excitedly and said “Hi Babe”!!!! I am all smiles. I am in her car.. Finally with HER!

HER! (Finally) First Thoughts

She looks at me and says “Hi” with the biggest smile on her face. Here is exactly what I recall and let me tell you first… I don’t think I will EVER forget the details of those first moments, or any moments after to be quite honest because those moments are forever imprinted in my brain as the beginning of another chapter to this story of US. (funny…actually neither of us recall a particular moment that happened later that night, but I will get into that a little later).

She says “Hi” back to me and I am literally smiling from ear to ear. I am beyond excited and happy. I am with HER. The person I met in the most unreal way when I was not looking on April 23, 2021 and that has turned into an everyday interaction via telephone/FaceTime getting to know each other in the most thorough way we can without being in each others space. This daily interaction turned into “feels” that neither of us planned, nor truly wanted to feel yet or at least this soon, but it happened. Chelsey and I became girlfriends (way to go Chels for securing that) and then not too much longer we spoke the words “I love you” to each other as you read/heard in Chapter 1. Our feelings continued to grow each and every day. We both felt it sometime before we could speak it or explain it. We just knew. We knew our challenges (age difference, different States, friend concerns, family concerns) but we also knew each other better than anyone knew US and we were ready to face any challenges head on AND together. So, we started planning to meet. The plan was for July with a visit from Chelsey to WA, but we couldn’t wait, we needed to see each other now so the plan changed for me to fly to St. Louis to meet her first.

So, here we are, finally in her car. I look at her, I am still smiling. She is everything I imagined. She is beautiful with a tomboy edge, sexy, adorable, and with the perfect smile. She has long wavy hair secured with a snapback hat. She has blue eyes and the sweetest pouty lips. Her smile is infectious. The way she looks at me, is like she sees through me. She is in shorts and a teeshirt. She is perfect. To me, she is everything I have every dreamed of, but never knew it, until her. In the car I can’t stop talking and looking at her and before she takes off to drive, I lean over and kiss her. It was quick and soft and I could feel she was a touch nervous and perhaps a little surprised that I made the first move. We had to move so others could be picked up, so I hurried and snuck it in… I did it… I kissed her. We are together and I am so happy but what about her? What does she think of me? Of course I want to know if the feeling is mutual. We are so similar in ways, but different in others. Let me refer to it in dog terms…. I am like a Chihuahua ( a lot giddy and a little overexcited) and she is like a Basset Hound (mellow but gets excited when you have a new toy or treat) ~ That actually just made me laugh because it is so true!!! Sorry Chels.

So, I actually don’t know what she was thinking, but let me share her first thoughts/words from my viewpoint of course. I am now in her car and we go to drive off and she says, “You are so short”! ~ Yep, that’s my girlfriend. First words, “You are so short”… I look at her and say, “I am 5′-5″ like I told you, how tall did you think that was”? She said, “I don’t know, I think this whole time I just pictured you taller like me”. I reply, “Um, 5 foot 5 inches. I sent you pictures!” She laughs and says, “I know.. you looked taller in the pictures…” I said, “Babe! Are you disappointed? Do you want me to get out and go back”? she grabs my leg and says “NO”! I think it’s cute” with the cutest smile on her face. Come to find out later… She actually loves my height because I come right to the top of her shoulder so I nestle perfectly in her neck:)

*sidenote: apparently during this whole exchange I butt dialed my son as soon as I got into the car, that’s another story, but I will say he heard this whole conversation and when we found out, we couldn’t stop laughing, saying of course he heard that part. Perfect. lol. Moving on…

The Car Ride

We are leaving the airport and I cannot keep my hands off her. I have my hand on her back and in her long hair. I would switch and place my arm under her arm with my hand on her leg. We would hold hands (although she would say my hand was hot – DUH it is Missouri and hot as HELL as well as humid). I can’t stop touching her. I don’t want to be away from her. I can’t believe I am finally with her. I am happy. Extremely happy. At this point I am still curious as to what she thinks of me and if I am being honest, I really didn’t know for sure. I suspect she likes me but… still not 100% sure.

She would smile at me and she would occasionally put her hand on my leg or in my hand, but she isn’t like me in the way that I get super giddy and chatty when I am nervous or excited. She is actually quite the opposite and a bit more mellow than me for the most part. Don’t get me wrong, she can be hilarious and laugh harder than me at times, she shows excitement, and she is very vocal (basset hound) about how she feels most the time, but she is just more mellow as a whole. I just wasn’t 100% sure what she thought. She did say, “You’re cute”. a couple times, and I would catch her looking at me and smiling, but wasn’t sure what she was thinking, even when I asked her she would say something like, “You’re Here” or “wait til you see the hotel room” but I still didn’t REALLY know what she thought. I KNOW.. Scary right?? But, I kept talking and reassuring her how I felt and how excited I was to be there, with her. We kept driving and then we came to a stop light. It was spontaneous, and a tad courageous, but I leaned out of my seat and put my face in front of hers and kissed her again. This time, longer, slower, and with a little more passion. Still not the perfect kiss that I knew would happen eventually, but hey we are in a damn car and no doubt both a little nervous. I mean.. it has only been a month and a half since we started talking and here we are heading to a hotel for a weekend together. I know even typing this, I am like.. “Crazy”! but you have to live and you have to take risks to reap rewards… Here we are risking it all for love. It only gets better from here. You may want to get cozy and prepared, this is where it starts to get good.

The Hotel

We arrive at the hotel. It is after midnight Missouri time, which is 2 hours ahead of me. We pull in to park in parking garage (the keycard doesn’t work, which seems to have been an issue earlier) so she pulls a ticket and we enter. We drive around and find a parking spot and get out with my luggage and head to the elevator. She holds my hand when we walk (I love this!). We exit the elevator and walk into the hotel and up the stairs to the other set of elevators. We get inside and the keycard doesn’t work in there either. We have to get off the elevator and walk to the lobby and get new key cards. Head back to the elevator and it still doesn’t work. I tell her to HOLD the card on the pad and sure enough it works (yay me) she said it was because I was with her (doubtful). We head to the 8th floor. Chelsey is so excited to show me this room, she says, “wait til you see this room”, and I can see why… It is actually absolutely adorable. We had to walk down the maize of hallways until we reached the door #893. She opens the door and in we walk. It is indeed beautiful! It is a cool corner shaped room with a window that looks right out of the St. Louis Arch and the Mississippi River! Beautiful! I go immediately look out it. I tell her it is perfect! I am smiling the whole time. I am still in disbelief that I am here and with her. I look at the bed and there is a bouquet of flowers on the bed with a little pink gift bag with tissue in it sitting right next to the flowers. I was like “Baaabe! You didn’t have to get me anything… I just want you”! She said, “I wanted to” and I said, “well open what I got us first and pick which one you like better”. I had already told her what I had got us, but couldn’t decide which one we would like better: The long distance bead bracelets that were opposite in colors or the rope love knots that keep us tied together no matter the distance between us. One is black and one is white. She picked the knots, which I loved more too so we immediately put them on. Then she said to open the bag. Inside was a little skeleton key on a necklace that she said matches her tattoo on her wrist (it actually is an exact match!!) I love it! So thoughtful right? I put it right on. I don’t have a necklace that I wear regularly, but had on my parent’s fingerprints necklace that I am always afraid I will lose, so I was really excited to have a new necklace to wear so I could put the fingerprinted one back in a safe place, and honestly to have one from her, that she picked for me, was the best. HOW THOUGHTFUL of her to get me a necklace, she amazes me daily with her thoughtfulness and love. And there was more… there was an ankle bracelet in there too and she showed me the one on her ankle and it is an exact match to hers:) I put it on my left ankle like hers. Beautiful and sweet? Am I dreaming? She then tells me she got us water and some drinks if we want them and they were already in the little fridge. I said thanks babe, still smiling and then walked around and looked at the rest of the room. It was amazing, everything was perfect. I was so impressed and finally feeling a little more secure that she likes me too. She was just as excited as I was to be there, together. So we are just putting things in places and then it happens…. This is one of the moments we have both said we will NEVER forget! She said, “Come here”. I said “Ok…” and I walk toward her, she then tells me I may need to get on my tiptoes, so I do, and she kisses me. I mean she REALLY kisses me. The most amazing, softest, sweetest and yet sensual kiss ever! We both slightly moan during it (not like that… just a MMMM kind of moan) and that was it! With weak knees (yep we both mentioned weak knees later in a phone call) and a strong desire to do more… we move apart and both decide that kissing between us is not purely kissing. It will always lead to other things! SO that is good.. Kissing is on point. Yes, it was that passionate and that perfect. Ask either of us and we will tell the same story, every time! So here is the crazy part… We have ZERO recollection of what happened after that. NONE. We have gone over it and over it and we have no idea what happened after. I think I asked if we were going anywhere, knowing that it was late, but still making sure and then I remember saying I was going to change into something more comfortable and she said she was too. That is all we remember other than somehow ending up in bed and the next four hours well… they were intimate and beautiful and nervous and amazing. I think we finally fell asleep at 4 in the morning.

Waking Up ~ The Next Day

Surreal. No other way to describe it for either of us. Rolling over in the morning and seeing her beautiful face and kissing her is the best thing ever. She is so sweet and kind. She pulls me into her arm and intertwines her long legs in mine and with her sleepy eyes still closed whispers “I love you” in that sweet southern tone and gently traces my arm with her fingertips. Physical touch .. Both our love languages.. and it’s more than obvious in how we are toward each other. Now it is both of us constantly touching the other one and it was like that the duration of my time in Missouri. I love to look at her while she is sleepy and trace her face with my fingertips. Her cheeks, her eyes and eyebrows, her lips, her neck, her hairline. I love to run my hands through her hair. I gently touch her hair and whisper “I love you” back to her, she always says it back to me.. always. This morning was no different. It was gentle and sweet and quiet. I just looked at her in amazement and watched her sleep.

We would lay there for a while, then start kissing, then give into passion again. Morning sex, not something I have done. Not something I have ever wanted, until now. Until with her. Everything just felt easy and natural with us. I laid there looking at her and she looks at me and asks what I was thinking… I smiled and said, “just wondering how you feel having just had sex with a 50 year old?” she said, “Great!” and in turn asks me how it felt to have sex with a 28 year old? (Yes, reminder, we are in an age gap relationship), I said, “I don’t think about it until you say it! I guess weird! and then I laugh and say I am kidding, it was amazing”! Why does age matter? We are both consenting adults and how we feel about each other is more important that the age number attached to us. Love wins over age. Happiness prevails.

I decided to get up and take a shower and asked if she wanted to join me? Courageous again I know. I am typically super shy so I even shocked myself with that question and actually happy she said “No it’s ok, you go Boo” (she calls me Boo most the time, sometimes Babe and when she is really serious … Woman (haha)). She said, “while you are in the shower I will go down to Starbucks and get us coffee”. Awww yes! Coffee!! She asked what I wanted (she is NOT a Seattle Coffee Snob like me, in fact she likes Dunkin’ Donuts coffee – insert yuk face here) so I tell her a Tall Americano, she says, “Americana”? No babe, American-O. (She told me when she got back she kept saying “AmericanO” to herself the whole way so she wouldn’t forget ~ How cute is that?). So I got up and headed to the shower. When I got out I just wrapped myself in my black satin robe and headed out to where she was drinking her coffee on the chair by the window overlooking the Arch. I grabbed my coffee and said “Thanks babe”, took a sip, it was perfect. She said my flowers weren’t doing so good in the heat, I said let’s put them in the ice bucket with water and the plant food and bring them back to life. So she did. She went back to the window and drank her coffee and I sat on the bed drinking mine. She was on her phone looking for things for us to do for the day. We had planned to do the museum or the arch but then decided maybe taking her friend Sarah’s advice and heading to the Gay District to hit a couple gay bars in St. Louis would be fun. The sun was shining through the window and she looks at the flowers sitting on the counter and says, “I think the flowers need sun”. I said, “Ohhh kayyy” and watched her get up and grab the ice bucket of flowers and head toward the window. I honestly just sat on the bed and watched her one by one grab each flower and arrange it in the bucket so it would get some sun. The best part about this was she was actually in her own little world, like she was the only one in the room. She talked to each one and positioned it perfectly so each one would come back to life’. It was so sweet to watch, so sweet that I captured the memory with a picture on my phone of her doing this, which is now my cover photo on my Facebook page. It truly was sweetest thing… but that describes her, extremely sweet.

So as I sit in awe watching her and how beautiful she is, she gets up and comes over to the bed and lays next to me, we are on her phone looking at places to go explore for the day, when she pulls me down to her and starts kissing me. She tells me she loves me. We kiss some more and passion exudes again. There is no lack of sex or any intimacy between us, we have insane sex drives and passion toward each other. I swear we were never leaving the room, but after spending more time together she finally got up to take a shower. I asked if she wanted me to jump in with her, she said “No” again. Of course she did…. there is more to this story I actually ask her if I can shower with her always and she says maybe 50% of the time…. What? We’ll see about that. I decided to finish getting ready as well, but needed to re-wet my hair so waited for her to get done. When I say things were unbelievably comfortable between us, I truly mean it. For example, I was in the bathroom and had just finished blow drying my hair and she came in and touched my ass and said, “Hi babe” then proceeded to brush her teeth right next to me while I was putting my makeup on. Like we had been together for years. No pause, no second thought, just like it had always been this way.

We finished getting ready and headed out to find the Gay Bar. Well, we got lost, of course we did. We call it an adventure, lol. Driving around was fun, it was so easy with her. She was always touching me usually with her hand on my leg. We listened to music, we talked, we laughed, I made her try healthy snacks (she didn’t like any of them! haha) we wrote in a little spiral notebook all our “Firsts” we were experiencing going back to when we first started talking. Believe it or not, there are a lot more for me than her. It was fun just being together with no real plans. Finally, we decided to head back toward the hotel and hit one of the Gay Bars in downtown St. Louis. We settled on Bastilles, which turned out to be mostly gay men, but we didn’t mind. We sat at the bar and it was there that Chelsey and I changed our “Relationship Status” on Facebook to “In a relationship, with each other”. I know it sounds silly but NEITHER OF US has every changed our status, ever. Another first for us:). It was official to US verbally before me met, but now it is official for the everyone and US to see. My heart was so happy. I remember kissing her and telling her I love her and we toasted our drinks to “US”. I will mention another pivotal point I had with Chelsey and it was at that bar and that is that she is very protective of me. A guy approached us and was talking nasty about another guy and she told him to stop, that we didn’t want to hear that as we are lesbians. Then he came back by a little later and tried to put his arms around both of us and she told him to stop! She told him he doesn’t know us and to not touch her girlfriend.. I was super impressed. I love that about her. She protects what is hers. In a good way.

We left that bar and decided to head down the street to this sports bar. Chelsey was getting hangry and we don’t want Chelsey hangry. So we walk in and grab two seats at the bar and order water and food. She got some chicken burger with horseradish (yuk) and I got a club sandwich (which she ate the other half of mine later that night, I love that she eats what I can’t). I am telling you, again so comfortable. I couldn’t keep my hands off of her at dinner either. Always rubbing her back, running my fingers through her hair, or holding her hand or leg. We are always touching. To some this may be a lot, but for us, not enough. We finished up there and decided to go try and find this one lesbian bar down the street. We found it and again walk in and it is all gay guys. Oh well, we make the best of any situation so we again sidle up to the bar and order a drink. We barely had a drink a piece this night, neither of us really wanting to drink which was great actually. We sat at the bar with out barstools and legs intertwined the entire time. Kissing and holding hands the duration of the night. We met some fun guys out on the patio and visited with them for a while then went back in to finish up back at the bar. We honestly couldn’t keep our hands or lips or teeth off our each other. I was actually getting a little risky with my behaviors toward Chels a good indication that It was time to go! So we left and decided to head back to the hotel with the intention of dropping off the food and walking to the arch to check out when they opened the next day as well as get some pictures together in front of the arch. We dropped the food and headed back outside. It was beautiful out. There was lightning and a nice breeze, but still warm out. We stood on this ledge in front of the arch and took some great pictures together. If you ask Chelsey, it was one of her favorite memories of me coming. She said that me being in her arms in front of the arch is her favorite memory. I have to admit it is one of mine as well. It was as if time stood still. It was just us, outside, in each others arms, and nothing else existed. It was bittersweet actually because while it was amazing, it was also a reminder of my having to go back home the next day and the reality that our time together is just that, moments in time that we get to spend together right now. We know it won’t be like this forever, but for now this is our lives. Plane trips each month for weekends together.

Our Last Night Together

We head back into the hotel, holding hands, kissing in the elevator, talking, saying a lot of “I love you’s” to each other. We get back to the room and decide we are going to crawl into bed and watch a movie for our last night together. I decided to surprise her with something a little more sexy tonight, our last night together, but it was so damn cold in the room (Chelsey runs a lot hotter than I do… where I would turn up the heat, she turns up the AC) so I told her that while I wanted to wear this one thing, I may come out with that on and a sweatshirt over it.. we laughed. However it was truth, I had a sweatshirt on over it as I crawled into bed and scooted as close as I could to her. Nothing matters with us, we just roll with whatever, like I said before.. It is just easy with us. I am snuggled in close and as aways she lets me nestle in her arm, face buried in her hair and neck, legs intertwined as always, she lightly traces my arm with her fingers (she loves my sleeve tattoo and traces along it with her fingers often) as we try to find something to watch and as I try to get warm. It doesn’t take long with her as she is usually pretty warm. We can’t find anything to watch so we leave it on whatever channel is interesting enough and I can’t help but start kissing her lips and touching her skin. When I know I have her attention, I am warm enough to remove my sweatshirt so she can see the black lace and satin lingerie I have on. She smiles and pulls me in close. Our last night was amazing and the nervousness we had the first night was completely gone. We know each other like no other. We share the same love language and our passion is far beyond anything. We just fit. There is no awkwardness, there is no fear. We fit perfectly and we talk to each other in and out of the bedroom. We know what the other likes and needs and we both ensure the other is happy. This is the first relationship that I have had with someone that is STEM (Stud/Femme). This is the first relationship when the term “Switch” has come into my world and with HER.. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Usually Chelsey has been the one holding me as we fall asleep, but this night she was tired, more tired than me. She says to me, “Babe, you are going to have to be the big spoon tonight”, meaning I needed to hold her. I am never typically the big spoon, but like I said before, this relationship is different and I am ok with whatever with us. So, she pushes her back to my my front and I hold her. I rub her back and play with her hair. There was a funny conversation we had earlier in the day that grew into something completely ridiculous and hilarious at the same time. Because of the inappropriateness of it, I am omitting it from this blog/podcast, but it was hilarious between us and after I rubbed her back I mentioned it again and in our dead calm sleepiness we both laughed hysterically in bed before falling asleep. It wouldn’t be our relationship if there wasn’t laughter and inappropriateness that is for sure! We both fell asleep and crazy enough both remember waking up to the music from the sitcom “Golden Girls… Thank you for being a friend… ” neither of us knew the other heard it until the next morning when we both mentioned it. We sleepily awoke with me complaining about how freezing I was all night and how I tried to get close to her for her to warm me up and she was all about her self sleeping, but would back up to me thinking that would warm me…. NOPE! haha

The Last Morning in MO

I woke up this morning, teary eyed. Ugh. I couldn’t help it. Just thinking back to that moment brings tears back to my eyes. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave her. She knows me, she knows something is up and she says, “no, not yet. Don’t cry”. She pulls me so close, so close there is literally no space between us. She just hold’s me. I nestle my face into her and try not to cry. We just lay there. She says, “I love you”. We talk about the fact that we know this is hard and going to be hard, but we can do this. Our love is strong enough to do this. It’s temporary living apart…. it won’t always be like this. I believe her. I trust her. We have talked about all this from the very beginning. Agreeing, both of us, that we wouldn’t start this together if we weren’t both looking for a future together. We communicate perfectly together, this is just another instance where communication and love has to be in the forefront and it is. We shared some hugging and kissing and well, of course some intimacy and I am not sure if it was due to the conversation or what, but it was the most memorable intimate time of my entire stay. WOW, without going into any mind blowing details… WOW is what you get for this blog/podcast (to keep it as close to PG as possible). It was INTENSE and there was so much love shared that I couldn’t do anything but smile because I know she loves me. We laid in bed for a bit longer looking at her phone together deciding where to go because….. I wanted a donut! Yes, I LOVE donuts. I, of course try to abstain as I know they are not good for me or my waistline, but I know Chelsey has huge sweet tooth and would totally go along with a donut too, so why not? We decided on a place in downtown St. Louis not far from where we were staying called Pharoah’s Donuts. We got up, got showered and dressed, packed up our things(I kept the hotel key) and headed out (by now it is after 11). We load up the car and venture out to get us some donuts. Her hand is on my leg. We kiss when we can. We back into a parking spot by the donut place (we still laugh about that) and hold hands as we walk in to pick out our donut~ or 12 (it was Father’s Day and she was going to her parents after dropping me at the airport so I decided to buy her Father’s Day donuts for her family, it is the least I could do since I was the one keeping her from getting there earlier) the selection was crazy good! I, of course opted for the Bismarck (custard filled chocolate) which was delicious, I even fed some to Chels while she was driving. She stuck her tongue out to lick the filling and I was like OMG.. this is when I actually noticed the length of her tongue. I know possibly TMI, but ummmm. I said, that is under arrest, locked up, until I see you again. Good Lord! I also found out that she is left handed ~ WTF…. How did I not know these things? You learn as you go I guess… Keeps things interesting, as if they aren’t interesting enough as it is:)

The Ride to the Airport

We laugh so much, even our drive to the airport was fun and filled with laughter. Example; we are so random. We just went and bought donuts, had 2 bites out of mine and saw a billboard for Jersey Mike’s subs and decided we wanted sandwiches instead! Haha. We found one and ate our sandwiches inside while we just talked and gazed at each other…. and of course found more things to laugh at, like a back brace.. lol~long story, but hilarious for us so we laughed some more. We finished up at the sandwich place and walked out to the car. We sat out in the car and talked, which lead to me tearing up yet again. I decided that I would write her a little note to read after I left her to board my plane. Remember the notebook I mentioned earlier… the one we wrote our “Firsts” in with her name on one side and mine on the other where we listed all our firsts that we share together? Well that was still in the car so I ripped out a page and through tears wrote her a note. I finished and was folding up the note, when she grabbed the little notebook and said, “I am going to write you one now, you can’t read it until you are on the plane”. I love her! I love every little thing about her. Everything. I did wait.. I read it on my flight and it is now in my memory box of US and yes I cried.

With tears still in my eyes she pulls me into her arm and tells me it is going to be ok. Tells me she loves me. She always reassures me of her love for me, always makes me feel safe and assured. I believe her. I don’t trust a lot of people, but I trust her. With that, we pull out of the parking spot toward the airport. We talk more about how comfortable we are around each other, how easy it is. How much we love each other and that being together was better than we even thought it could be. We talked about texting on my flight home and that she would text as much as she can but would be driving to her parents. I thanked her for an amazing weekend and for everything she got me. We pulled up to “Departing Flights”. She grabs my bags out of the back seat and walks over to my side. I am crying (I am such a crybaby with her!!) and she hugs me. She says not to cry, it isn’t goodbye. I said I know but it still sucks, that I am going to miss her, and that I love her. She says, “I love you”, and again, I know she does. We let go, she kisses me, I hug her again, kiss her, and walk away…. crying.

It is never easy saying goodbye. This distance is going to be hard on both of us. We agree to travel and see each other once a month.. alternating between me to MO and her to WA. We confirmed, our love is strong and we do believe unbreakable. We have the fight in us and the love to get through any obstacles that arise. We got this… Together. We can do this. This is just the beginning…. SO…

*Turn of events… I’m heading back to Missouri! She is coming to WA in August due to a new job she took where she is training and she can’t get the time off for July so… I am heading back… THIS weekend! I am actually staying one night longer.. YAY!! New memories are about to be created.

Stay tuned for “In Between” events that have happened over the last month AND …. My New Journey ~ To Love. Chapter 3 ~ Missouri Part 2: Cape Girardeau (Chelsey’s Place) ——- Coming Soon! and…

Published by kaksmhm

I am just a woman from WA state that loves nature and loves to talk about things people are struggling talking about. I am a Mental Health Counselor with various degrees and a lot of life experience. I want to help change the world one person at a time by reducing the stigma around mental health by talking about things that are uncomfortable to talk about as well as talk about things that a lot of people think about and wonder if anyone else does too. I am here to say "yes!" and am here to talk about those things:)

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